New Skills-Influence And Persuasion: Three Golden Keys And More- 2nd Post

New Skills- 3 Golden Keys to Influence and Persuasion

New Skills- 3 Golden Keys to Influence and Persuasion

New Skills-Influence And Persuasion:  Three Golden Keys And More

New skills- Influence and persuasion an important skill set part 2

In our first post, we mentioned how important it is to learn new skills like influence and persuasion.  We also laid the groundwork and basics for the subject of influence and persuasion.  To keep that post length a little shorter, we broke it into 2 parts.

In this post we will show you the:

  • 3 golden keys to influence and persuasion
  • Modern techniques that makes you effective
  • The insight to the performance tools Presentation Master you can use In my first attempt at trying to sell a product

New skillsInfluence and persuasion a quick review: what’s the difference again?

The American Heritage Dictionary defines manipulation: “Shrewd or devious management, especially for one’s own advantage”.  This is most fitting when discussing the difference between influence and persuasion compared to manipulation.   There is no way we can leave this difference out of the article.

With influence and persuasion, it’s all about the opportunity for two people to come together on an opinion that is mutually beneficial. No one wins if someone loses and manipulation or hard selling tactics is not effective long term. In order for you to be successful long term with selling your thoughts and ideas, it has to be a win-win.

New skills- influence and persuasion the 3 golden keys:

  1. The emotional connection
  2. Trust
  3. Listeners point of view

New skills- Influence and persuasion the emotional connection is the 1st key

Do you have trouble getting your thoughts or ideas across? When you speak, do others listen to you, or do you feel your listener wandering?

Effective influence and persuasion is basic communications for “convincing” others.  This new skill is essential in business and everyday life. According to Bert Decker’s book: “You Have To Be Believed To Be Heard”, the most powerful communications reaches not only the mind but also the heart. I highly recommend this book for persuading and influencing others.

Influence and persuasion- trust is the 2nd key

It comes down to a simple question. Who will they trust?  At the end of the day, it always comes down to trust.  Do you trust them, or not?  Do you believe what they are saying, or not?  Is this person credible, or not?

Trust is so valuable that we spend our entire lives building trust and credibility, and rightfully so.  The more effective we are in doing that, the more successful you will be when it comes to influence and persuasion.

Influence and persuasion- listener’s point of view is the 3nd key

OK listeners, listen up!!!.  This is 2012, hardly a new year by now.  Get this right and you will have a happy new year.  The “listeners’ point of view is the foundation, cornerstone and starting point for influence and persuasion.   When you get this right and have the other two keys in place…it’s like presto.  Being effective at influence and persuasion opens the golden treasures to being more successful, more productive and more valuable….and more influential.  You are what we call- a person of influence.

In the next generation of influence and persuasion, it’s not really about you.  No one cares that you have a great idea.  Nobody is really interested in the products you sell.  When you get the right perspective on how to influence and persuade, you will be more effective and more successful at it.

You must know and understand your listener.  When you start off with “I have this great (product or idea or whatever the situation) I know you will like”, you just triggered the self preservation mechanism I discussed in the first post.  If your listener hasn’t already said no, he is already thinking no.

New skills- influence and persuasion is all about knowing your listener

In business you need to identify what they call the pain, or problem area:  When you know your listener, you know what:

  • Keeps them from falling asleep?
  • They are they really concerned about?
  • Frustrates them?
  • They are angry about and who are they angry with?
  • What they have to do and must do in their business to succeed or to grow it to the next level

In your personal lives, you identify the pleaser:  When you know your listener, you know what:

  • They truly desire most?
  • Excites your listener?
  • Appeals to them being happy?

New skills-influence and persuasion answering the two most important questions

Since influence and persuasion is used in both our everyday lives and in business, I will give you approaches to both perspectives.  When you can identify the top two pains of your listener, you are ready to start your presentation for the business perspective.  When you can identify the top two pleasers for your listener, you are ready to start your presentation for the personal perspective.

A quick comment on presentations.  A presentation is how you get others to understand and accept your ideas. In simple terms, it has an

  • Opening- with the listener’s point of view
  • Body- what you are trying to get others to understand or accept your ideas on
  • Benefits- why this solves the pain or pleaser
  • Answers to objections- why the benefits solve the issues
  • Call to action- to do something by a certain date

Here are the simple steps to influence and persuasion for a successful presentation and in this sequence.

  1. Start with the listeners point of view
  2. Show them how benefits solve the problem
  3. Prepare a list of objections that they will most likely have
  4. Summarize the listeners point of view again
  5. Have them take the action you want by a certain time frame.

Here are two examples.  The first is convincing someone on a new idea you have, the second is convincing your friends that Saturday night dinner is at the place you want to go, even though everyone has their favorite spot in mind.

Selling your idea on a new product you developed:  “Dan I know you want to attract new markets and increase your company’s profits.  New products are the heart beat of every company, especially when they appeal to your target customers and meet your profit objectives.  My idea will help you deliver those customers and add more profit to your bottom line.  You may be thinking, how can I afford to develop new products or spend money to buy them.  Dan, you don’t have to, in fact you don’t even need to buy my super widget product.  We can do a joint venture, and I will make 8% on any sales you make and I will help you to market it.”  We need a short follow up meeting to review the concept.”  Think you may get a yes here?

Selling your friends on your dinner location:

“Hey Tom and Mary.  I know you guys love the hustle and bustle in a white table cloth establishment.  And Carl and Rose, you just mentioned you love fine Italian.  Honey, we should think about Napoli’s Fine Classic Italian restaurant Saturday night.  Now I know everyone is thinking of their favorite spots, but tonight seems like it should be special, different and upbeat.  It’s not the last supper- a little humor, and this place is really heating up in the news!  I will handle the reservations for six at 8 PM.”   I think you made a good case and would likely convince the group.

Influence and persuasion- high performance tools- The Presentation



In my book Be Thinkful, I include a template tool for making presentations.  It’s called The Presentation Master.  It starts with the listener’s point of view.  The Presentation Master is included as a free bonus for buying the book and comes with an easy to use worksheet and excel template you can use for every presentation you make.  The book is $7.95.

Good luck with learning new skills like influence and persuasion.  If you get this skill right, your dreams will come true.

George Napoli is both an author: Be Thinkful©, as well as an entrepreneur having coached and trained thousands of employees and entrepreneurs in high level skill sets in Leadership, Six Sigma, Management Training and a wide range of high level- life changing skill sets like thinking, creativity and innovation and change.  I am a Professional Blogger and Professional Internet Marketer.  I am fortunate to hold Masters Certificates in Human Resource Development, Strategic Organizational Leadership and a Master Black Belt in Six Sigma, all from Villanova University.

This post is property of Learn New Skills Blog.  You may reproduce this post; New Skills-Influence And Persuasion:  Three Golden Keys And More only in its entirety, including resource information and maintaining active links.


Learn New Skills-Improve Memory Tips That Actually Work

Improve Memory with unique tips

Use these tips for Improving memory

Learn new skills- improve memory

So now that  we know about basic recall and memory from our last post, here are some tips and guidelines to  improve your memory and basic recall.

Learn new skills by paying attention

You can only remember what you have learned and you
can’t recall it if you have not paid attention to it, or made a strong effort to
encode it into your brain. “That what you give energy too grows.”  The more time and mental energy you give something, the more you remember it.  It takes about eight seconds of intent focus to  process a piece of information through your hippocampus and into the  appropriate memory center. That means you can’t do more than one thing when you  need to concentrate! If you distract easily, try to absorb the information in a
quiet place where you won’t be interrupted.

Tailor information you want to retain to your learning style. I’m very visual, and most people are visual  learners; they learn best by reading or seeing what it is they have to know.  But some are auditory learners who learn better by listening. They might
benefit by recording information they need and listening to it until they
remember it.

 Learn new skills-involve your senses

Involve all your senses. Even if you’re a visual learner, read out loud what you want to
remember- if you can recite it rhythmically, even better. Try to relate
information to colors, textures, smells and tastes. The physical act of
rewriting information can help imprint it onto your brain. Relate information
to what you already know. Connect new data to information you already remember,
whether it’s new material that builds on previous knowledge, or something as
simple as an address of someone who lives on a street where you already know

Learn new skills-all about organization for improving memory

Organize information. Do you want to remember it?  Write it down first.  Write things down in note pads and datebooks and on calendars;  take notes on more complex material and reorganize the notes into categories  later. Use both words and pictures in learning information. Understand and be  able to interpret complex material. For more complex material, focus on  understanding basic ideas rather than memorizing isolated details. Be able to  explain it to someone else in your own words. If you can’t summarize it our  loud, that means you really have not absorbed or understand it completely.

Learn new skills-practice make perfect

Rehearse information frequently and “over-learn”. Review what you’ve learned the same day you learn it, and at intervals thereafter for the next 7-10 days. What
researchers call “spaced rehearsal” is more effective than “cramming.” If
you’re able to “over-learn” information so that recalling it becomes second
nature, so much the better.

Be interested and motivated, and keep a positive mental perspective. Tell yourself that you want to learn what you need to remember, and that you can learn and remember
it. Telling yourself you have a bad memory actually hampers the ability of your
brain to remember, while positive mental feedback sets up an expectation of

Learn new skills- develop a system for improving memory

I use these like a religious person uses a bible.  I have several go to systems when I absolutely have to remember something…and they work.  Mnemonic devices to improve memory. Mnemonics (the initial “m” is silent) are helpful  tips of any kind that help us remember something, usually by causing us to  associate the information we want to remember with a visual image, a sentence,  or a word. Sometimes they are also called moronic systems. Whatever you pay  attention too, you will be better able to recall it so these systems put you on  the right track to recall.

Learn new skills- common devices for memory

Common types of mnemonic devices include:

Visual images – a microphone to remember the name “Mike,” a rose for “Rosie.” Use
positive, pleasant images, because the brain often blocks out unpleasant ones,
and make them vivid, colorful, and three-dimensional — they’ll be easier to
remember. Made up acronyms about the subject matter are great moronic memory
tools to help you recall.

Sentences in which the first letter of each word is part of or represents the initial of
what you want to remember. Millions of musicians, for example, first memorized
the lines of the treble staff with the sentence “Every good boy does fine” (or
“deserves favor”), representing the notes E, G, B, D, and F. Medical students
often learn groups of nerves, bones, and other anatomical features using
nonsense sentences.

Acronyms, which are initials that creates pronounceable words. The spaces between the  lines on the treble staff, for example, are F, A, C, and E: FACE.

Rhymes and alliteration: remember learning “30 days hath September, April, June, and
November”? A hefty guy named Robert can be remembered as “Big Bob” and a smiley
co-worker as “Perky Pat” (though it might be best to keep such names to

Jokes or even off-color associations using facts, figures, and names you need to recall,
because funny or peculiar things are easier to remember than mundane images.

Learn new skills-in bite size pieces

Ever hear of the magic of 7?  That’s the largest number most people can remember with ease, and why a phone number is 7 digits long.  “Chunking” information; that is, arranging a long list in smaller units or categories that  are easier to remember. If you can reel off your Social Security number without  looking at it, that’s probably because it’s arranged in groups of 3, 2, and 4  digits, not a string of 9. “Method of loci”: This is an ancient and effective  way of remembering a lot of material, such as a speech. You associate each part  of what you have to remember with a landmark in a route you know well, such as  your commute to work.

When it comes to improved memory, hopefully learn new skills gave you some great insight.


Thinking Skills- Reflective Thinking: Learn New Skills From The Inside Out

Reflecting and refelctive thinking

Looking from the inside out with reflectve thinking

Thinking Skills-

Learn new skills from the inside out

Here is a great opening quote on learning thinking skills on reflection and reflective thinking

When it came to thinking skills, Confucius said it best…

…”By three methods we may learn wisdom 1st, by reflection, which is noblest; 2nd by imitation, which is easiest; and 3rd by experience, which is bitter sweet.” – Confucius

Thinking skills-history repeats itself

They say history repeats itself. Lessons from the past are one of the smartest thinking tools you can use.  Embracing the lessons from the past is what “reflection” and reflective thinking skills are all about. When you reflect, you draw on past experiences. Drawing on past experiences puts things in perspective and sheds a new light on the teachings and lessons learned.

Thinking skills-reflective thinking turns experience into insight”

Having been through something once, gives you a sense of confidence that experience teaches.  We call these “AHA” moments-teachable moments.   Thinking skills like reflection and reflecting is a sure fire way to jump start any thinking process. When you reflect on something you get to see the entire picture.  The good, the bad, the ugly. You can learn something from both positive and negative perspectives, so don’t turn your back to the negative side of the lesson.

Here is a pointed quote for you on experience on thinking skills- “Those that forget the past are condemned to relive it”

When you look at both the positive and negative side of a coin using reflective thinking skills, it has a unique way to take a bad experience and turns it into a valuable one. Do not miss the opportunity to get something of value from it.

Thinking skills-two sides of the coin

It’s easy and fun to pull the wisdom from a positive experience. A good experience is the most valuable. Having done it once successfully, you should be able to repeat the positive experience. To ensure that you get the same results with the next new experience, ask yourself these questions:

Was there one big factor in the experience, and what role did it play in the solution and outcome?

What was the one negative thing about the experience, how could I have prevented it, more importantly, what lesson did I learn?

  • What steps did I take?
  • What questions would I have asked if I had another expereince similar to it?
  • What was my biggest surprise?
  • What could I have done differently to improve the results?
  • What did I learn?
  • What could I have done to improve the past experience?

Thinking skills- exploring the past

Exploring the past is definitely inspirational. It also provides integrity to your thinking, and most important of all, it puts the past experience into true perspective. You can use this thinking tool for any challenge. You can also use it to just sit back and reflect, you will be surprised what you learn.

Here is a practice exercise that is simple to do. Think back in time, and then think through these different subjects-one at a time:

  • Opportunities
  • Family
  • Career
  • Hobby
  • Goals
  • Giving
  • Short Comings
  • Problems
  • Work

You can also use this thinking skills tool and strategy to think about any scenarios to see if you experienced something similar in the past that you can draw on. Always keep balance and perspective in mind when you reflect. If you have a current challenge you are working on, reflect on it, give it some mental energy, give yourself a place to reflect that is quiet and a time that is most peaceful for you, and what is really important here is-let it incubate.  Give reflective thought time to blossom, grow and develop.  Time is your friend with reflective thinking…so give it some room

Reflective thinking skills is the first place to start when you want to think about something and think better.

Thinking skills- looking ahead

Exploring the future is definitely inspirational. Thinking associated with new ideas, planning different objectives and also stretching your creative thoughts on how to proceed in a different way, provides you with loads of positive energy!  Use the past to think ahead, set goals and cherish the insight these thoughts give you.

Reflective thinking is just one of hundreds of different patterns, strategies and insights from our Be Thinkful© thinking and creativity E-Book and skill development program.  Learn new skills and check out our special limited time intro offer now at


Learn New Skills-The REAL VALUE Of Thinking And Creativity


Learn New Skills-

The REAL VALUE Of Thinking And Creativity

Stand out in a crowd when you learn new skills like thinking and creativity

Learn New Skills-The REAL VALUE Of Thinking And Creativity And Top Performance

Learn new skills-The real value of thinking

When you learn new skills like thinking skills, here is what happens.  Great thinking produces the groundwork for great results.  You just can’t have performance and great results without better thinking.  Poor thinking creates negative consequences, and average thinking produces simply no improvements or progress.

Great thinking generates great improvements in your performance and progress.  Great thinking combined with great ideas releases a person’s real potential.  Good thinking generates more good thinking for those who turn it into a practice.  That’s exactly how you start to become a great thinker.

“An invasion of armies could be resisted, but never an invasion of ideas”

Learn new skills- thinking should be obvious to us

The REAL VALUE of great thinking, generating ideas and the ability to sell yourself and influence others should be apparent to all of us.  It’s hard to advance without it, and it’s even harder to be successful, or to earn life changing income, without being a better thinker.

Here’s why.  Unsuccessful individuals concentrate their thinking on existing and surviving.  How can you generate ideas when you are merely trying to get by?   When you learn new skills like thinking and creativity, you understanding the effects associated with changing your thinking, and you are more inclined to improve your thinking skills. 

 Learn new skills-improve your thinking and creativity

1. Improved thinking creates the base line for good results
2. Poor thinking only creates negative results
3. Average thinking produces little to no progress
4. Good thinking improves your chances for success
5. Great thinking produces greater performance, success and income

Only when a person makes the proper changes and improvements to their thinking do things change, and turn out better for them.  That’s when you can start to understand better, think better, and generate great ideas for your company or yourself.

Learn new skills-change your thinking

Improving your thinking is all about changing attitudes and beliefs.

Change is a personal thing- “I would really want to change.”  Change is really possible-“I am able to change.”  Change is profitable- “I’ll be rewarded by change.” 

Changing your beliefs, changes your expectations.  Changing your expectations, changes your attitude.  Changing your attitude changes your behavior.  Changing your behavior changes your performance. 

When you learn a new skill like thinking, this is what happens.  Changing your performance, changes your life…and this my friends is exactly how you become successful and produce life changing income!

Learn new skillscreativity

Thinking and creativity go hand and hand.  The more creative you are the better thinker you are.  Here is an inside look at creativity and the skills you develop as you become more creative.

1. Learn new skills like-Curiosity

When you learn new skills like creativity, you start to ask ‘why’, ‘what if’ and ‘I wonder…’ are great questions to build into your life if you want to be a more creative person. Learn new skills like creativity to be more employable is one great benefit.  Companies like creative people.

2. Learn new skills to-Finding the FUN in Problems

The biggest problem is that we often see problems or obstacles in life as unacceptable parts of life. We avoid pain or suppress it when it comes and in doing so, we don’t often see and feel symptoms that are there to tell us something important. Creative people see problems as a natural and normal part of life – in fact they often have a fascination with problems and are drawn to them.   That is why creativity and thinking go hand in hand.

3. Learn new skills to Confront Challenge

Most of the most creative ideas through-out history have come from people facing a challenge or crisis and rather than running from it asking ‘how can I overcome this’?

4. Learn new skills for- Constructive Discontent

Creativity and creative people often have an acute awareness of what’s wrong with the world around them – however they are constructive about this awareness and won’t allow themselves to get bogged down in grumbling about it – they take their discontent and let it be a motivation to doing something constructive.

5. Learn new skills for Being Positive

Learning creative skills gives you a unique attitude and belief that most (if not all) problems can be solved. No challenge is too big to be overcome and no problem cannot be solved (this doesn’t mean they’re always happy or never depressed – but they don’t generally get stumped by a challenge).

6. Learn new skills for Suspending Judgment

As you start learning creative skills, you begin to hold off on judging or critiquing an idea is important in the process of creativity. Often great ideas start as crazy ones – if critique is applied too early the idea will be killed and never developed into something useful and useable. (note – this doesn’t mean there is never a time for critique or judgment in the creative process – it’s actually key – but there is a time and place for it).

7. Learn new skills- Obstacles Lead To Innovation, Improvement & Solutions

This subject is similar to the example above,  but by ‘hurdles’ I mean problems and mistakes in the creative process itself. Sometimes it’s on the journey of developing an idea that the real magic happens and it’s often out of the little problems or mistakes that the idea is actually improved.

8. Learn new skills- Stick With It-Ness

Creative people who actually see their ideas come to fruition have the ability to stick with their ideas and see them through – even when the going gets tough. This is what sets apart the great from the good in this whole sphere. Stick-ability is key.

9. Learn new skills to develop-Flexible Imagination

It’s fun watching a truly creative person at work when they’re ‘on fire’. They have this amazing ability to see a problem or challenge and it’s many potential solutions simultaneously and they have an intuitive knack at being able to bring previously disconnected ideas together in flashes of brilliance that seem so simple – yet which are so impossible to dream up for the average person.

Is Creativity tied to Personality A Trait or Can it be Learned?

As I read through this list of traits of creative people – the question that I know the answer to is whether creativity is tied to personality type or whether it can be learned?

Yes creativity is a learning skill.

Some people are just creative – they don’t train themselves to think like they do and they often don’t even know that they are any different from the rest of us – it’s just who they are.

However, we can all enhance our ability to be creative over time when learning new skills.   When you learn new skills like our thinking and creativity skill sets, you will really become a creative type.

If you want to become successful and live at a new level, you have to be more creative and think at a new level.  Learning skills and using the life changing skill sets associated with Be Thinkful© is the right product for you, and the right time for you to start learning how to think and understand better, be more creative and yes…even generate great ideas.


Learn New Skills- Develop Your Personal Value Proposition And Learn New Skills

Increase your value prosoposition with thinking skills

Learn New Skills-Insight Career Development

 Learn New SKills Video-Thinking Skill Development

Learn New Skills-

And increase your value

Are you tired of hearing no?  No, you don’t have the skills we need.  No you didn’t get that promotion.  Maybe it’s time you take steps now to learn new skills that every employer and company are looking for.

 When it comes to increasing your core values as an individual or in growing your company, nothing can enhance your value proposition more than to learn new skills.  Companies spend a great amount of time and money developing their value proposition and here’s way.

Learn new skills- defining a value proposition

A value proposition is promising some value to be delivered and a belief from the customer of value that they will experience. A value proposition can apply to an entire organization, or parts thereof, or customer accounts, or products or services.  Creating a value proposition is a fundamental business component and a critical high level business strategy.  Kaplan and Norton are two world known business strategists, and here is a short summary of what they have to say about a value proposition. “Strategy is based on a differentiation and satisfying customers is the source of a sustainable value creation.

Learn new skills-high level strategy

If it holds true for companies, doesn’t it make sense for individuals as well?  In these tough competitive times with high unemployment, erosion of good quality jobs and intense competition on the jobs that are out there, now more than ever you need to increase your value proposition and the best way to do that is by learning new skills.

Here is the key point to value propositions.   A value proposition is the solution to a customer’s problem and in your case, maybe it’s a prospective employer.  It goes hand in hand with the problem the company or the product is solving or what the company needs from a job candidate.  With that knowledge in hand now we need to take a deeper look at developing a personal value proposition so that you can increase your own personal value.

 A personal value proposition “should be a statement of the tangible results a company will get from hiring you, the unique skills and benefits you will bring to an employer that others won’t.”  That is where a unique and differentiated strategy comes in.  Before we begin to develop a personal value proposition (PVP) let’s digress and look at a new term we need to introduce called: “value drivers” and the best place to start for understand this term is the investment banking world. 

Did you ever wonder why one business has buyers lined up willing to pay top dollar while another sits on the market for months, or even years?   What do buyers look for in a prospective business acquisition? The characteristics buyers seek must exist before the sale process even begins.   It is the job of the business owner to create value within their business prior to a sale.

 Learn New Skills: High Level skills- Value Drivers that enhance value

Here is a short list of the items, common to all industries, which drive up value for an entrepreneur’s called: “Value Drivers.” Here are the critical key value drivers for any successful business:

  • A stable, motivated management team
  • Operating systems that improve sustainability of cash flows
  • A solid, diversified customer base
  • Facility appearance consistent with asking price
  • A realistic growth strategy
  • Effective financial controls
  • Good and improving cash flow

These are the core reasons a buyer is willing to pay a premium price.  The more successful you are in developing each component, the higher your business value. These value drivers are centered on their perception of risk and return.

Now let’s take a look at the core value drivers when you learn new skills to increase your personal value proposition.  These are the critical skills employers are looking for today when you learn new skills.  Interesting to note, for the most part they haven’t really changed for years.

 Job skills and formal education

  • Communications skills
  • Thinking skills
  • Leadership skills
  • Pride in your work and a hard work ethic
  • Creativity and the ability to solve problems
  • Time Management and
  • Self Confidence
  • Flexibility and adaptability
  • Learn new skills

Sure, there are specialized high level skill sets some people have like: project management, graphics art, internet marketing.  The list goes on and on and yes, having high level skill sets greatly increases your value tremendously.  When you learn new skills, these aslo increase your value tremedously as well.

Make the time commitment now and learn new skills.  The best one to start with without a doubt is thinking skills.  Our Be Thinkful© skill set development program includes three skills in one

  1. Thinking skills
  2. Creativity skills
  3. Influence and persuasion skills

Learn these skills now at and increase your value proposition. And most important of all…and keep on learning.   After all, if you have a passion for learning and learn new skills like thinking and creativity, you will already be on well on your way to increasing your value.