New Skills-Influence And Persuasion: Three Golden Keys And More- 2nd Post

New Skills- 3 Golden Keys to Influence and Persuasion

New Skills- 3 Golden Keys to Influence and Persuasion

New Skills-Influence And Persuasion:  Three Golden Keys And More

New skills- Influence and persuasion an important skill set part 2

In our first post, we mentioned how important it is to learn new skills like influence and persuasion.  We also laid the groundwork and basics for the subject of influence and persuasion.  To keep that post length a little shorter, we broke it into 2 parts.

In this post we will show you the:

  • 3 golden keys to influence and persuasion
  • Modern techniques that makes you effective
  • The insight to the performance tools Presentation Master you can use In my first attempt at trying to sell a product

New skillsInfluence and persuasion a quick review: what’s the difference again?

The American Heritage Dictionary defines manipulation: “Shrewd or devious management, especially for one’s own advantage”.  This is most fitting when discussing the difference between influence and persuasion compared to manipulation.   There is no way we can leave this difference out of the article.

With influence and persuasion, it’s all about the opportunity for two people to come together on an opinion that is mutually beneficial. No one wins if someone loses and manipulation or hard selling tactics is not effective long term. In order for you to be successful long term with selling your thoughts and ideas, it has to be a win-win.

New skills- influence and persuasion the 3 golden keys:

  1. The emotional connection
  2. Trust
  3. Listeners point of view

New skills- Influence and persuasion the emotional connection is the 1st key

Do you have trouble getting your thoughts or ideas across? When you speak, do others listen to you, or do you feel your listener wandering?

Effective influence and persuasion is basic communications for “convincing” others.  This new skill is essential in business and everyday life. According to Bert Decker’s book: “You Have To Be Believed To Be Heard”, the most powerful communications reaches not only the mind but also the heart. I highly recommend this book for persuading and influencing others.

Influence and persuasion- trust is the 2nd key

It comes down to a simple question. Who will they trust?  At the end of the day, it always comes down to trust.  Do you trust them, or not?  Do you believe what they are saying, or not?  Is this person credible, or not?

Trust is so valuable that we spend our entire lives building trust and credibility, and rightfully so.  The more effective we are in doing that, the more successful you will be when it comes to influence and persuasion.

Influence and persuasion- listener’s point of view is the 3nd key

OK listeners, listen up!!!.  This is 2012, hardly a new year by now.  Get this right and you will have a happy new year.  The “listeners’ point of view is the foundation, cornerstone and starting point for influence and persuasion.   When you get this right and have the other two keys in place…it’s like presto.  Being effective at influence and persuasion opens the golden treasures to being more successful, more productive and more valuable….and more influential.  You are what we call- a person of influence.

In the next generation of influence and persuasion, it’s not really about you.  No one cares that you have a great idea.  Nobody is really interested in the products you sell.  When you get the right perspective on how to influence and persuade, you will be more effective and more successful at it.

You must know and understand your listener.  When you start off with “I have this great (product or idea or whatever the situation) I know you will like”, you just triggered the self preservation mechanism I discussed in the first post.  If your listener hasn’t already said no, he is already thinking no.

New skills- influence and persuasion is all about knowing your listener

In business you need to identify what they call the pain, or problem area:  When you know your listener, you know what:

  • Keeps them from falling asleep?
  • They are they really concerned about?
  • Frustrates them?
  • They are angry about and who are they angry with?
  • What they have to do and must do in their business to succeed or to grow it to the next level

In your personal lives, you identify the pleaser:  When you know your listener, you know what:

  • They truly desire most?
  • Excites your listener?
  • Appeals to them being happy?

New skills-influence and persuasion answering the two most important questions

Since influence and persuasion is used in both our everyday lives and in business, I will give you approaches to both perspectives.  When you can identify the top two pains of your listener, you are ready to start your presentation for the business perspective.  When you can identify the top two pleasers for your listener, you are ready to start your presentation for the personal perspective.

A quick comment on presentations.  A presentation is how you get others to understand and accept your ideas. In simple terms, it has an

  • Opening- with the listener’s point of view
  • Body- what you are trying to get others to understand or accept your ideas on
  • Benefits- why this solves the pain or pleaser
  • Answers to objections- why the benefits solve the issues
  • Call to action- to do something by a certain date

Here are the simple steps to influence and persuasion for a successful presentation and in this sequence.

  1. Start with the listeners point of view
  2. Show them how benefits solve the problem
  3. Prepare a list of objections that they will most likely have
  4. Summarize the listeners point of view again
  5. Have them take the action you want by a certain time frame.

Here are two examples.  The first is convincing someone on a new idea you have, the second is convincing your friends that Saturday night dinner is at the place you want to go, even though everyone has their favorite spot in mind.

Selling your idea on a new product you developed:  “Dan I know you want to attract new markets and increase your company’s profits.  New products are the heart beat of every company, especially when they appeal to your target customers and meet your profit objectives.  My idea will help you deliver those customers and add more profit to your bottom line.  You may be thinking, how can I afford to develop new products or spend money to buy them.  Dan, you don’t have to, in fact you don’t even need to buy my super widget product.  We can do a joint venture, and I will make 8% on any sales you make and I will help you to market it.”  We need a short follow up meeting to review the concept.”  Think you may get a yes here?

Selling your friends on your dinner location:

“Hey Tom and Mary.  I know you guys love the hustle and bustle in a white table cloth establishment.  And Carl and Rose, you just mentioned you love fine Italian.  Honey, we should think about Napoli’s Fine Classic Italian restaurant Saturday night.  Now I know everyone is thinking of their favorite spots, but tonight seems like it should be special, different and upbeat.  It’s not the last supper- a little humor, and this place is really heating up in the news!  I will handle the reservations for six at 8 PM.”   I think you made a good case and would likely convince the group.

Influence and persuasion- high performance tools- The Presentation



In my book Be Thinkful, I include a template tool for making presentations.  It’s called The Presentation Master.  It starts with the listener’s point of view.  The Presentation Master is included as a free bonus for buying the book and comes with an easy to use worksheet and excel template you can use for every presentation you make.  The book is $7.95.

Good luck with learning new skills like influence and persuasion.  If you get this skill right, your dreams will come true.

George Napoli is both an author: Be Thinkful©, as well as an entrepreneur having coached and trained thousands of employees and entrepreneurs in high level skill sets in Leadership, Six Sigma, Management Training and a wide range of high level- life changing skill sets like thinking, creativity and innovation and change.  I am a Professional Blogger and Professional Internet Marketer.  I am fortunate to hold Masters Certificates in Human Resource Development, Strategic Organizational Leadership and a Master Black Belt in Six Sigma, all from Villanova University.

This post is property of Learn New Skills Blog.  You may reproduce this post; New Skills-Influence And Persuasion:  Three Golden Keys And More only in its entirety, including resource information and maintaining active links.


Influence And Persuasion: 3 Golden Keys From Learn New Skills Blog

There are no secrets to influence and persuasion

Influence And Pesuasion Is All About Getting Others To Understand And Accept Your Ideas

Influence And Persuasion:  There Is No Secret, But There Are Golden Keys From Learn New Skills Blog


Influence and persuasion– notable quotes

As Plato observed, “persuasion is the key to power.”

The greatest ability in business is to get along with others and to influence their actions.John Hancock

How many phone calls do you get at home from telemarketers?  We now seem to be getting more and more on our cell phones.  Now, if I don’t recognize the number, I won’t answer it.  But it gets worse.  While text messaging from people trying to convince you buy something, or take some action isn’t that bad right now, trust me, it will grow in magnitude over the next twelve months.  And as far as emails, they have taken over the majority of emails I get and they are very annoying.

Influence and persuasion- an important skill set

Learning new skills like influence and persuasion is a very important.  To keep this post length a little shorter, the post will come in 2 parts. In the 2nd post I will show you the

  • 3 golden keys to influence and persuasion
  • Supported by modern techniques
  • The insight to the performance tools you can use everyday to be more effective in areas of influence and persuasion.
  • Learning how to be an effective influencer

In this post, I will deliver the meaning and the difference between the two subjects as well as the background to influence and persuasion, and why it is the golden keys to the golden treasure!!!   A side footnote:  Influence and persuasion is obviously about selling.  But typically, sales are transactions:  You receive money from a customer for the benefits they receive from buying your product.   This post is not about selling a product or service, but about getting people to understand and accept your ideas.

Influence and persuasion- the essence of the meanings

Influence and persuasion is all also about how to convince others to understand and accept your ideas or solutions to problems. Basically anytime you need to convince someone to your way of thinking.

Influence and persuasion- we experience thousands of times a year

We literally give thousands of presentations a year in our normal daily lives.  Every day we experience problems and issues that need these skills; the clerk in the store who won’t accept a return on a product because the package is open.  You want to go out for dinner but you can’t seem to agree on what restaurant.  Maybe your boss is looking at two different approaches and you want him to take yours.  Influence and persuasion helps get the results you need along life’s journey.

Influence and persuasion is common place in our daily lives.  For example, while listening to the TV at breakfast, a number of advertisements will be presented to you in such a short time frame: one for a new breakfast bar you eat on the go that helps you lose weight, or, how about driving to the golf course where billboards and signs on the sides of the road flourish.  Even on buses and occasional car and truck people try to convince viewers to consider certain products.

Influence and persuasion is being used everywhere, by everyone, yes, even the little boy next door who knocks on your door and says, “Good morning Mr. Wilson,” would you like to buy a holiday wrap  to support my Scout troop’s plans to take a camping trip this Summer?  Some forms of influence and persuasion can be very, very powerful.

Defining influence and persuasion– the meanings defined

If you want to really develop a deep understanding in the field of influence and persuasion, than a good place to start is with the definition of the words themselves. These words are often used interchangeably, however, if you want to nurture a deeper understanding of the subject you need to start with a deeper understanding of their definition.


All About Influence
All About Influence- Being An Influencer


Influence and persuasion- all about influence

Influence is a catch-all term. Whenever you attempt to deliberately direct or change a person’s thoughts, feeling or behaviors than influence is said to have occurred.

Influence is trendy.  What passed for influence last year or last month may not be influence at all today. Influence is free to change, which it does on its own accord.  We must we be creative to remain relevant. “Leadership is Dead”: How Influence is Reviving It, is a new book by Jeremie Kubicek, explaining how to become truly influential: by overcoming the desire for self-preservation, a tendency that sabotages many leaders today. Long story short: Influence is personal—customized by your current circumstances, interests and preferences.

The problem is that influence is also the most underused tool and asset in the world. And the primary reason is- the enemy of influence is a universal human trait we mentioned earlier: self-preservation.  Because of that, the approach today is much softer than ever before. You influence by establishing trust first and foremost. That is the current perspective on the subject of influence. Hard selling is absolutely out today.  The days of selling on the premise of instilling fear: you need this insurance policy to protect your family in the future, is now replace with a much softer approach- life insurance is prudent for smart people and a basic stepping stone in the financial planning process.

Persuasion Is An Art

Persuasion Is An Art

Influence and persuasion- all about persuasion

Persuasion is a powerful force in daily life and has a major influence on society as a whole. Persuasion is a part of education and learning. Persuasion is also a part of recreation and relaxation. This might be true in some scenarios, but persuasion isn’t just a pushy salesman trying to sell you a car, or a television commercial enticing you to buy the latest and greatest product. Persuasion is often more effectual than force. The key elements of this definition of persuasion are that: persuasion is symbolic, utilizing words, images, sounds, metaphors, etc. and that it involves a deliberate attempt to influence others.

Persuasion is really a subset of Influence. It is when you use communication to try and deliberately change a persons’ attitude. If a person’s attitude has changed then persuasion has occurred.

It’s a subtle but important difference.  Each of the terms above is concerned with deliberate change- but they are different in that persuasion requires a certain level of communication such that an attitude change is adopted by the person. This communication is likely to be a combination of verbal and non-verbal messages. Influence on the other hand can be achieve without any communication and is directed to achieving a specific external behavioral change without gaining any change in the person’s attitude.

Social Influence investigates the causes of human change–whether that change is a behavior, an attitude, or a belief.

Persuasion attempts to win “the heart and mind” of the target (group or individual; in this case maybe your teen). Thus, in order to persuade you must bring about a change in attitude, which is basically an emotion-based change.

With the foundation set, my next post will deliver the three keys to influence and persuasion, some basic techniques to develop the new skill, as well as a powerful tool to make influence and persuasion a systematic process, every time you need to influence others or persuade in some way.  Best of all, you will discover what it means to be a real “influencer”.

George Napoli is both an author: Be Thinkful©, as well as an entrepreneur having coached and trained thousands of employees and entrepreneurs in high level skill sets in Leadership, Six Sigma, Management Training and a wide range of high level- life changing skill sets like thinking, creativity and innovation and change.  I am a Professional Blogger and Professional Internet Marketer.  I am fortunate to hold Masters Certificates in Human Resource Development, Strategic Organizational Leadership and a Master Black Belt in Six Sigma, all from Villanova University.

This post is property of Learn New Skills Blog.  You may reproduce this post only in its entirety, including resource information and maintaining active links.


Learn New Skills-Anchor Posts For Blogs-

Learn New Skills-anchor post for blogs

Learn New Skills: anchor post for blogs

Learn New Skills-Anchor Posts For Blogs

For all you Bloggers out there, or those who plan to be, do you know the difference between a typical post and an “anchor post?”

Learn new skills anchor posts

Anchor posts are a specific kind of post that search engines love, readers enjoy and anchor posts are great for SEO.

Learn new skills- about this blog

I’m big on leadership and training.  Simply stated, my loyal readers come to my blog to learn new skills.  When I coach and train, I always use the term “teachable moment” and here is what I mean.  I get hundreds of positive comments a week.  Some are surprised by the length of my posts, but even, then the comments go on to say how surprisingly easy it was to read through the article and more importantly, the content they got gave them the information they were searching for when they found my blog.

Learn new skills– searching for subjects of interest online

When you search online for any subject online, what you typically find are snippets of information, redirects to other sites, references to books on the subject, than if you are lucky, maybe  you find a couple of sites that deliver some basic information.    Studies show that a typical search can take you 20-30 minutes, some up to 3 hours, and usually what you are looking for isn’t found until around the 36th website or blog from the top of the list.   That is 2 pages away from the first page a search engine delivers.

When you get to my blog, you can be assured you will find the message and the content delivered in full. Some people don’t consider the time of the search in comparison to spending 10 minutes reading about what they look for.

Learn new skills-anchor post defined

Here’s the teachable moment.  The posts I provide are usually for high level skills or complicated subjects.  They require background and depth of information to provide the complete picture and storyline. In blogging we call these posts “anchor posts.”  They are typically more than 700 words and deliver both the content and the message.  If you have your own blog, you should write at least one anchor post a month.  The search engines really love anchor posts amd so will your readers.

I Hope this helps to shed some light on the length of the articles and why I can’t deliver them in 3-400 words like most blogs give you.  In an age of push buttons, quick fixes and scrolling bars, sometimes you just have to settle down and spend the time to learn what you want to know, once you finally find it.

So far, I have laid a solid foundation for you with previous posts in the areas of learning, thinking, innovation and creativity for generating great ideas.   Along with those posts, I also published a book that many of you have read called: Be Thinkful© – to help you:

  • Become a better thinker
  • Become better at problem solving and make better decisions
  • Become more creative and generate great ideas
  • Become better at influencing and persuading

Between the posts and the book, you now have access to all the basic skills you need to be more effective, more productive and more successful in your careers or in your business.  To piggy back on my last post on living your dream, you now have the tools to make living your dream a reality as well.

In the last post on living the American dream, I mentioned at the conclusion I would start to road map a blue print on how to live the American dream of owning your business and how with the right skills and performance tools you will flourish and be successful doing it.  After these next two posts on another critical high level skill set,  we will journey together into the World Wide Web, where you can showcase your new business passion or products, or we will help you reach new levels with your current online/online business: one pixel at a time.

I have one more post on the subject of influence and persuasion before that happens.  Don’t miss it.  Discover how important influence and perusasion is to your long term successes.  It inlcudes the 3 golden keys to unlocking your golden treasure.



Living Your Dream- Learn New Skills And Bring All Your Dreams With You

Living Your Dream

Living Your Dream- Bring All Your Dreams With You

Living Your Dream– Learn New Skills And Bring All Your Dreams With You

First of all, I’m not talking about dreams and dreaming as you do when you sleep.  Everyone dreams but some dream more than others.  In any event, that is not what this post is about.

Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.- T.E. Lawrence

Living your dream- do you remember? 

Do any of you remember when you first looked at the pictures from all your friends in your high school year book?  Many of those comments from friends said the same thing….”always follow your dreams”.  What happened to those dreams?  Do you remember them, do you still dream?

Maybe, just maybe, it’s time to follow our dreams and focus on the one dream that is most important to us in our lives.  Before we talk about that, let’s take a look at some of the more popular dreams and their respective themes.  They tend to be typical for a lot of people.

Living your dream- daydream themes. Check out this link for more insight:

What you daydream about is almost always indicative of what you may really be feeling.  For most of us, it truly does reveal our unconscious thinking: our subconscious mind.  I saved the most popular dream for last, since it will get the most attention.  Below are some common dream themes with a brief description for each one:

  • Spiritual- to know oneself and or to believe in a higher being
  • Meaningful life- to have some purpose and be a positive contributor
  • Peace of mind- to know the meditative path to calmness, clarity and contentment
  • Self acceptance- the confidence with who you are and counting your blessings for what you have
  • Meaningful work- getting compensated for something you enjoy doing and where you can use  your skills to get ahead in life
  • Happiness- finding contentment and balance in life

That is a brief summary of the most common dreams most people have during their waking day.  If one of these themes has sparked your arousal, then follow that dream and you will flourish.   Here’s how I would approach them if they were my dreams.

Living your dream- a quick tip

Let’s choose happiness.  Who doesn’t want to be happy?  You can learn new skills that teach you how to be happy and how to be content with what you have; being content is one of the major keys to happiness.   Here’s why. If you are not content, then you are distracted by the next thing you want, that you don’t have.  If you think you will be happy after you get something, a new car, a spouse, a new job, a 2’ bigger boat or whatever, you’re never going to find real happiness.

As soon as you get what you thought would make you happy, you are on to the next distraction; the next “if I can just get this, then I know I will be happy” distraction cycle.  You need to find contentment.  That is just a fact of life.

The second key to finding happiness is controlling your internal conversations.  You know what I mean.  The ones you carry on with yourself.  Many times these are negative conversations that due nothing to spark happiness.  You should read The Meditative Path.  It gives you great insight into the subject of finding peace and contentment; the two keys and road to true happiness.  Actually, it is one of the best books I have ever read and very easy to understand and practice.  If you are interested in a copy, I think it’s only available from the Thesophical Society in Geneva Illinois-bookstore. I’ve provided a link to the Society- I do not have any affiliation with them, nor do I earn a commission of any sort.  Point is: there are plenty of books on the subject of happiness…read them of that is your dream.

Now It’s time to bring out the most popular daydream of all, and it really is no surprise:  It’s “Living the American Dream”.

Bring all your dreams- living the American Dream has many different meanings for different people:

1-Living the American dream-living in America where you have your freedom, work hard and you are able to get ahead in life has always been the American dream

2- Living the American Dream- for some of us it means owning your own house, but the bud on that flower has withered for now.  It will come back as a popular dream again soon

3- Living the American dream for others simply means being retired and being financially independent and free of the day to day work grind

4- Living the American dream for most of us and this is the most popular dream of all: being your own boss and owning your own business; stands out as the clear winner for most of our dreams and here is some proof:

Young People Want to Be Their Own Boss and desire to follow their dreams. The Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation commissioned Harris Interactive ®  to conduct a survey of 2,438 U.S. young people ages 8 to 21.  In my generation, we dreams of being cowboys.  That’s just the way it was.  Today, t an early age, we dream and aspire to have our own business and it continues to bloom throughout life for most of us.

The results of this survey reveals that everyone, especially youth’s, want to be their own boss and they hope to make that real life dream a reality.  Here are the stats:

  • 4 in 10 young people have or would like to start their own business
  • 27 percent of 8- to 21-year-olds would like to start a company.

Those who want to have their own business say their top reasons are:

  • 91% to use their skills and abilities and to build something for their future
  • 89 % want to be their own boss and want their dreams realized

Live the dream- a quick start plan

Do you still have a dream?  Do you want to start fulfilling your dream and living it?  Then start by giving your dream mental energy.  The more you think about something, the more it grows, the more it grows, the more it takes on a life of its own. With enough mental energy, you too can live your dream.  Remember that, because mental energy can also work in the reverse.  If you have a problem and continue to give it a lot of mental energy, it also grows, maybe even out of perspective.  That is why you dwell on the positives and you give appropriate time to the negatives.  Just don’t dwell on them.

Remember this.  If you quit dreaming you’re going to miss one of the best parts of life.  The hope for a better you, the promise of a better future and a chance for you to live your dream come true.  Some say even a small part of you dies when you quit dreaming.

Maybe it’s time to start living your dreams and begin to make them a reality.  Go ahead…give them the mental energy they deserve, you may surprise yourself !!!

If living the American dream is a dream come true for you, then you will want to stay tuned, start the buzz and tell your friends around the water cooler there is way more coming on the subject of living the American dream for owning your own business, sustaining your dreams and flourishing in the process.  You will learn that with the rights skills and tools and with the help of the internet as you friend, ally and partner, you too can live the American dream of owning your own business.

George Napoli is both an author of several books: Be Thinkful© for thinking and generating great ideas as well as the author of Drinks for Diabetics, Dieter and Designated Drivers-solutions for low carb beverages. He is also an entrepreneur having coached and trained thousands of employees and entrepreneurs in high level skill sets in Leadership, Six Sigma, Management Training and a wide range of high level- life changing skill sets like thinking, creativity and innovation and change.  He is a Professional Internet Marketer and hold Masters Certificates in Human Resource Development, Strategic Organizational Leadership and a Master Black Belt in Six Sigma, all from Villanova University.

This post is property of Learn New Skills Blog.  You may reproduce this post only in its entirety, including resource information and maintaining active links.